points to ponder

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Tuesday, 13-Jun-2006 22:47:16

Great truths worth pondering...

* I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.


* I had amnesia once - maybe twice.


* Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.


* All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.


* I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.


* If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.


* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?


* They told me I was gullible . And I believed them.


* Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.


* Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.


* Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


* What if there were no hypothetical questions?


* One nice thing about egotists. They don't talk about other people.


* When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.


* A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.


* What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?


* My weight is perfect for my height. Which varies.


* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.


* The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.


* How can there be self-help "groups"?


* Is there another word for synonym?


* The speed of time is one second per second.


* Is it possible to be totally partial?


* What's another word for thesaurus?


* Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?


* Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.


* It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.


* Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?


* If a number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

Post 2 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Tuesday, 13-Jun-2006 22:57:28

heh, our english teacher told us some of those, I like them

Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Wednesday, 14-Jun-2006 14:38:05

I like that. Thanks. My favorite is:

* Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

Bob